However annoying it is to hear children whining, most children do this, particularly when it comes to asking for treats and rewards. This is perfectly normal behaviour and the trick is to let them know from our reaction that hassling is pointless because this is not the way to convince you to give them what they want.
Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue
This works really well:
DIFFUSE WHINING AND ARGUING:
- Simply respond to your child by repeating an “empathetic statement” without getting angry or raising your voice.
- For example repeat to your child “I know”, or “I heard you” or “I love you too much to argue”. – say this as often as needed and without giving in.
- Your child will then understand that whilst you are not unsympathetic to his or her feelings, you will not be giving in to these demands nor will you be drawn into an argument or negotiation or get emotionally “sucked in” by his or her reactions.
- You may find that ‘blocking’ your child’s argument this way will initially infuriate her or him, but soon s/he will understand that since you won’t be giving in, there is not point in continuing to whine.
Here is another suggestion:
“I” STATEMENT:
- An “I” Statement needs to start with an “I” or “my” (and if speaking for the family or couple, with a “we” or “our”).
- An “I” Statement allows us to focus on what we can control, versus what we would like to control so that we can make a statement to our children that we are able to enforce.
- For example, gently tell your child “I listen to children who speak in the same tone of voice as mine” or “I give chocolate bars to children who ask politely”.
- Or if you are not happy with your child’s demand, offer an alternative option, for example: “I won’t be giving you a chocolate bar at this time of day, but I can give you an apple”.
- If your child continues to badger you, repeat your statement until the whining stops.
- As above, you may find that ‘blocking’ your child’s argument this way will initially infuriate her or him, but soon s/he will understand that since you won’t be giving in, there is not point in continuing to whine.
