It’s amazing what a state our children can sometimes get into when faced with homework. In fact the spectre of homework can cast a grey cloud over the whole family. But however tempting it might be for us to do the homework for our children, just to get it ‘out of the way’, it is not something we’d ever recommend. Better by far to ease your child into a homework friendly state of mind by following the rules below.
Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue
This works really well:
GIVE A CHOICE
- For example: “Would you like to do your homework now or after playing/watching TV?” or “Would you like to do your homework sitting beside me while I read or up in your own room?”
- Giving our children an opportunity to choose between two things (both of which suit us) we are encouraging them to make decisions for themselves.
- Not only will the act of making a choice distract them from their emotions but it will also allow them to feel more empowered and responsible.
- It’s also worth remembering that when children are given choices, they move from ‘opposition mode’ into ‘thinking mode’, and become interested in listening rather than arguing.
Here is another suggestion:
SET A RULE
- Setting rules help, particularly when these rules apply to the whole family.
- For example “In this family we do our work before we play”.
- When you set a rule make sure that you do it in the spirit of empathy so that it sounds like a guiding principal rather than a reprimand.
- It also helps to explain to our children just why we are setting a particular rule by putting it in context.
Then you can try:
“I” STATEMENTS:
- An “I” statement is a statement that we are in a position to enforce and it needs to start with “I” or “my” (and if speaking for the family or couple, it starts with “we” or “our”).
- For example: “I will take children who have finished their homework to their friend’s house”, or if your child is asking for help with his/her homework: “I give ideas to children who have already started their homework”.
- I statements work because they provide clear, non-negotiable guidance.
